[Spelling and grammar not corrected.]
May 2015
What a whirlwind these last few days have been! . . . Yesterday (Saturday) my son, ___ and his wife, ___ unexpectedly showed up . . . [My son], a real estate agent, asked why I didn’t tell [the neighbor] to list her home with him. Without thinking, I blurted out, “I haven’t been to church in 4 months. I don’t [know] anything that’s going on in the ward.” To which [my son] immediately replied, “What?! Did [a friend] convert you to her church?”. . .
To make a long story less long, [my daughter-in-law] scrubbed [my] walls and cupboards, [my son] kept the two toddlers out of mischief, and I rocked the baby while telling them the story of my journey over the last few months. Every once in awhile I’d stop talking to let them absorb it. After a few moments, [my son] would say, “Keep talking.” So I did. I prayed God would give me the words to speak, and that they would have ears to hear.
I told them about the day my world came crashing down unexpectedly as I hadn’t been questioning or doubting . . . at least not on a conscience level. I told them about calling my Christian friend, ____ who gave me a copy of “Unveiling Grace.” Then about calling Lynn [Wilder], and how each person I met led me to another wonderful Christian woman who knew and loved Christ . . . After a few hours, [my daughter-in-law] asked if she could talk to [my Christian friend]. I made the phone call, and within 20 minutes, she and her husband [a local pastor] were in my home to answer their questions and stayed for 2 1/2 hours!
My darling [daugher-in-law] sobbed! She said as soon as I started talking she knew she had lost [her husband]. (This was a surprise to me as I’d thought [my son] was solid in his testimony and loyalty to the church.) She also cried because she knows that if she leaves the church, she will lose the newly found relationship of love and acceptance she has finally cultivated with her mother. Poor girl. I felt exactly the same way about my relationship with them! By the time they left last night, [my dauther-in-law] was pretty shell-shocked, but [my son] seemed calm and curious.
As we talked last night, [my son and wife] were both surprised at some of the church doctrine regarding the LDS teachings of the origin of God and other theology, and I was surprised they didn’t know it. [My son] commented, “I guess I’m not a very good Mormon since I didn’t know this stuff.” My thought was, “I wasn’t a very good Mormon Mom as I hadn’t taught him this in Family Home Evening.” But who am I kidding! I had 5 rowdy little boys! He was short and to the point and was usually about character development: kindness, tolerance, love, sharing, honesty, etc. Then [the pastor] pointed out something I hadn’t realized. The doctrine this generation is learning is different than what my generation had learned. But as we talked and I told them about changes in the temple ceremony and other church-related teachings, we were all pleasantly surprised to discover they held more Christian beliefs than any of us realized.
When they asked why I’d kept it a secret all these months, I told them I didn’t want the stress of this revelation to interfere with [my daughter-in-law’s] health or the health of the unborn baby . . . and I was fearful they would turn their backs on me and take away my grandchildren. [My son’s] reply was: “Mom! Really?!” [His wife] commented, “I could tell you weren’t wearing your garments anymore, and that you didn’t get upset if someone bought something on Sunday. . . .”
So now it’s Sunday. When I opened the front door this morning, [my son] announced, “We brought your grandchildren back!” And I was so happy to see them! I had offered to watch the boys if they wanted to go to CenterPoint church [in Orem] . . . and they took me up on it! I’d really love to be at church with them, but I wanted them to enjoy their first Christian service and meet new people without the worry of 3-year-old [son having] autistic meltdowns that are triggered by crowds and loud noises. We’ll figure out a way to worship as a family if they choose to return.
Before they left this morning, they shared with me that they had both been contemplating what life would be like if they weren’t Mormons, but hadn’t shared that thought with each other. . . .
I asked [my friend] to bring a copy of “Unveiling Grace” for them and I had bought an extra copy of an NIV Bible that I gave them as well. I pray their journey to Christ will be as healing and rapid as mine . . . if not more so!
And that, my friends, is the beauty of this weekend! One son knows I’m not a “true believing Mormon” anymore, and it hasn’t harmed our relationship! We are now on this journey together.
May 2015
Thank you for your wonderful work. Very enlightening and life changing for me. I have watched and listened to Sandra Tanner on MormonStories [mormonstories.org — #472-475] with John Dehlin and have been consumed with studying the history of my mormon faith over the past few months. I cannot seem to stop.
I am a 6th generation Utah Mormon who has been shocked by what I have learned The Church has intentionally hid/lied about all of my life. I am 34 and am seriously considering leaving the church but have all the reservations anyone in my shoes would have. All of my family, extended family and those in my community are staunchly active LDS and if I leave I fear I will send my family/friends into shock and be ostracized.
The hardest thing for me to accept is that as an LDS missionary in South Africa I taught and baptized many by using the teachings I had been taught to regurgitate in the MTC and now these converts could easily look to Google and see that I (unintentionally) had lied to them. That hurts immensely. I taught what I had been taught, and what I had been told was true from a young age. Now my son is turning 8 . . . and will want to be baptized. This is a dilemma for me to overcome. Your work, websites, and books have helped me so much. With all sincerity and gratitude, thank you!
May 2015
Thank you SO much. Just a quick praise report after three LONG years after I busted free (praise be to God) my mom has seen the light! She is RS president and everyone she knows is Mormon. She just decided this week to leave for good so we were doing research to arm her with ammo and I told her you have already done all the grunt work but I couldn’t find this specific thing. So thanks so so much for the link. Thanks for all you do, God bless! Please add her to your prayer list, she needs strength for sure.
May 2015
It is against my wishes but I must ask to be removed from your messenger mailing list . . . my husband is getting way too mad about it. I guess I have been getting them but my husband just throws them in the trash. . . . I’m exmormon and my husband is jack Mormon. . . . it’s so difficult on our marriage. . . . I get so frustrated. I appreciate what you do. Keep on telling The truth!!!
May 2015
Thank you, Mrs. Tanner for your devotion to the true gospel. God saved me out Mormonism, granted me repentance and taught me saving faith in Christ alone. I have found many of your materials and research very helpful and encouraging and I want to express my deep gratitude for the work that you are doing. Blessings.
May 2015
Sandra is an Anti Christ . . . keep following her.
May 2015
God has led me to your youtube videos and website, they were crucial to keeping me from joining the lds church. I have learned so much that my church is having me teach a class on Mormonism in the fall.
May 2015
I saw your website. I am the member of the church of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in Europe (Hungary) I have been a member for my whole life basically. I was 3 years old when the missionaries found my family. I have served a mission and served in many callings just as a branch president as well. I [now have] a lot more time to read and get to know more about the history of the church the doctirne of the church and have a lot of questions about everything and started to feel that maybe what I believe in is false.
I read a couple of things online what is against the church and make sense, but still I am so confused. The only thing what I want just to know the truth but now as I learn a lot about my church I feel that if it is not a reliable source of truth then where is it? What can I trust? If my church is not true, then where is the real one. If my God is not the real God then where is he and how can I know. I also question if the Bible is true. I think you probably know what I am going through.
June 2015
Just wanted to write you a quick note and thank you for all of the hard work that you and Gerald have put in to Lighthouse Ministries. I was really touched by your interview with John Dehlin, particularly the way you talked about your relationship with Gerald. It’s interesting how in spite of all of the evidence I have found that would lead me to walk away from Mormonism, it was the sincerity and love I felt from people like you that ultimately gave me the courage to stand apart. Your example has changed my life’s course. Thank you.
June 2015
Due to God’s grace and love, and the material you’ve blessed me with, a fellow inmate has now left his Mormon faith and accepted Jesus Christ into his heart as personal Lord and Saviour. He is scheduled to be baptize in a few weeks.
July 2015
I turned in my church resignation the 13th of June, and had my named removed and letter back by the 22nd of June. So all is good. I’ve been over a year at this, And it was hard to do after 76 years with the church. It was Quite devastating at first, And in some ways still is. I love the members and Know they are good people that have been mislead by the leaders of the church as I was. I would like to help them, but I know they will not listen to me now. I live about 2hrs from the Hill Cumorah.
July 2015
Please put me on your mailing list of the messenger. Also, any other info that would be pertinent to a 56 year old “member” that is beginning to have serious questions on what I have been taught my whole life.
July 2015
Truly. I especially appreciate you sharing feedback and letters from other fellow travelers who have come or are in the process of coming to realize the tremendous mis-truths the Mormon church continues to delve out. When I read their stories and experiences . . . I feel so much less alone. There is such peace in knowing I’m not the only one gullible enough to have believed for so long . . . nor am I alone in my decision to walk away. Thank you for the tremendous contribution you have made and continue to make in countless lives. “I throw my past behind me like a robe worn threadbare at the seams.”
July 2015
Thank you for your timely response. I really appreciate all you have done over the years.
I married a return missionary when I was 18 (1997). I was baptized and went through the temple on our one year anniversary. I never could gain a testimony of Joseph Smith or the church. I was made to feel unworthy no matter how hard I tried to fit in. I actually felt physically ill as I went through the temple ceremonies. Jesus was rarely mentioned at church. We spent an entire year learning about the prophets (the white-washed version of course).
I began to research history and doctrine and was horrified by what I found. I would show it to my husband and he would become very angry about me reading “anti-mormon literature”. We divorced in 2005 and he has now become a born again christian with the help of his new wife.
I recently finished reading a book purchased from your store. It was written by Carma Naylor. I have given it to my father and he has agreed to read it with an open mind. I told him that if he would do that, I would never bug him about the church again.
It breaks my heart that Mormons refuse to believe anything that goes against what they have been told. I have found that they refuse to look into things even when provided with well documented proof. I pray that more mormons will be bothered by the information that is out there and will come to discover the Real Jesus. I have found a new love for the Bible and have never been so content with my life. I am truly grateful for you and others like you. Thanks again for all of your hard work and dedication to finding the truth and for sharing it with others.
August 2015
Having a personal testimony founded on personal revelations, . . . [I know] that the LDS Church is the only living and true church in the whole world, increased, and greatly. Through your different publications, I can easily see how much you hurt inside, and find yourselves in so much missery of the pain from jealousy . . . revenge . . . hate . . . feelings which are clearly seen and perceived through the many enraged and despiseful words you use . . . Truth will always find oposition, like in the time of Enoch, Noah, Jeremiah, Jesus, . . . I beg you to come back.
September 2015
I just wanted to thank you for all the research and documents you and Jerald have put out! I wouldn’t have come out of the church if it wasn’t for, Mormonism: Shadow or Reality, and 3,913 Changes . . . These have led me and some of my friends at BYU out and now to knowing the true Jesus! My brother and his family just came to know the true God also! I am seeing this happen more frequently and cannot begin to explain my gratefulness to you and your ministry!
September 2015
Hello Mrs. Sandra Tanner. Thank you so much. Your website, utlm.org is the best. To tell you the truth as I grew up in mormonism, I was taught all my life that you and your husband were evil apostates. I was born as a bic in the mormon church and for 50 years i was in it until 5 years ago.
To make a long story short, I am now a christian. I enjoyed your interviews with Shawn and saw many of your videos on youtube. I was appalled when I learned the truth about the lds church. I feel ashamed for thinking you and your late husband were evil. I lost most of my mormon friends and now, in the eyes of my former mormon friends and parents I am the evil apostate. God bless you always and abundantly.
Originally appeared in:
“Excerpts from Emails and Letters,” Salt Lake City Messenger, no. 125, November 2015, 20-22.